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I have done my research and found some websites selling adult toys created with Shopify and processing payments with Shopify Payments. However, in my research, I still came across US citizens having the exact same problem as us. It looks like you will randomly authorize some to use Shopify Payments while sanctioning some others and no one is getting a real and straight answer here. Not allowing sale of sex toys on a platform of this size, in 2021 at that, is actually so ridiculous that it's humorous.
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I am in the same situation - trying to find answers and going around in circles. To confirm that you can sell your specific products on Shopify, please take a look over our Terms of Service, as well as our Acceptable Use Policy. Authorize.net and eMerchantBroker (EMB) are also both good options for